Brain fog. It’s fucking terrible.

 

Brain fog. Fucking brain fog. It’s fucking terrible. Especially because I’ve been having it super bad for the past two weeks. I’m not talking about having a short memory, I’m talking about, walking into a room 3 feet away from where I was just sitting, with the intent of getting something– doing something– grabbing something that goes with something- replacing somethingblank stare, look around, realize I forgot what I was doing that brought me to standing here wondering why I’m 35 with early onset Alzheimers!

Yesterday in between shoulder blade pain and a Vicodin, I put my vacuum back together, (it needed its filters cleaned) and ran it. After doing so I detached the base, filled with dirt and whatever else I just sucked out of the carpet, and walked into the kitchen. In the kitchen I absent mindedly set the vacuum container down and grabbed the broom. In which I started to sweep the floor. I finished, put the broom back, grabbed the vacuum container and left the kitchen. I promptly stopped in my tracks only to realize that I never dumped the dirt out of the container. The entire reason I walked into the kitchen was to dump the dirt!

I also went upstairs, 3 separate times to get an essential oil, each time forgetting in the 10 seconds it takes to go from my living room to my bedroom, what the hell I went upstairs for. Seriously, what the fuck.

I have no idea what actually causes the “brain fog” that is associated with fibromyalgia. I have no idea why some days are more “fogged” than others. The fact that it happens and can make you feel as though your brain has had a lobotomy really fucking sucks.

I was only kind of kidding when I wrote 35 with early onset Alzheimers.The idea of Alzheimer’s scares the shit out of me. I helped take care of two grandmothers that had dimentia and hold a place in my heart for a very special woman, who passed away due to complications of stage 4 Alzheimers. Witnessing the mental deterioration of each woman was hard to watch unfold. Each individual gradually got worse until each had passed, but there would sometimes be such crazy moments of whip smart clarity that would make me naively think that they weren’t as bad as I was told or that they couldn’t possibly get any worse. While I was always wrong, I look at those moments now and I think about how bad my memory seems to be and fear the idea that Alzheimers is only a few years away.

Yes, I know… Alzheimers!? At 35? Ok. I’m sure the fear of Alzheimers at my age is a product of my over thinking. Or just me over reacting. But that’s how bad the brain fog can get. I probably would have posted something on my blog sooner, had I not been so fucking forgetful. And now I’m going to start searching Pinterest for brain foods, brain food recipes, memory games, and anything else that involves retaining memory.

Xo

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4 thoughts on “Brain fog. It’s fucking terrible.

  1. I always rush to worry when my brain fog gets bad too. I think it hits those of us who have witnessed how dementia effected/effects those we love more than others. The fear that that could be me in a few years, yikes. I do take fish oil and have an app for brain games. It could be the placebo effect, but at the very least I think I’m doing something to help. Which is better than nothing.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I was having intense super annoying brain fog for awhile. It seems to go away the more hydrated I am. The more water I drink on a daily basis- I don’t have it. I also started taking a b-complex vitamin, 50,000 units of vit.d a week, and a combo of a stress relieving vitamin. I don’t have any brain fog and my body has been starting to ache less. 🙂

      Like

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